You may wonder why I named this blog "Blessings on a Broken Road" being that how could cancer ever be a blessing. I tear up as I am writing this because not that I am sad, but that I have experienced what it feels like to be so wholly loved by God, family and friends in the outpouring of support as I go through this. My personal walk with God is so much stronger and I turn to him for everything now. My family has come together in such a tighter way now, ill feelings put aside and I feel that if this was all that came from this, it would be worth it all. God has his plan for me, for my life, and I told him, I would do anything he wanted me to. I would be the sacrificial lamb. I wont have to walk this road alone, and that gives me strength. But, this journey will have to teach me how to endure. Already I feel so overwhelmed with doctors appointments, testings and surgery that sometimes I throw my arms down in surrender. I have even gone to yelling in the car when no one is around just to relieve stress (don't judge...you should try it!). No, I am not mad! I am learning endurance.
Upcoming testings...
For the next two weeks, I am facing more testing. Some of them, I don't know why they need, but oh well I will do it :). They have tested my lungs because the chemo I will be taking will damage them. They are testing my heart to make sure there isn't any abnormalities in its beating. I am getting a full body scan where i have to eat steak, broccoli, eggs, mushrooms and chicken the day before and nothing else. I have to go in for surgery to get a port implant so they can give me chemo without damaging my arm blood veins. And then, after all of this, I get to talk to my doctor about the results from my bone marrow biopsy and a treatment plan. I have such high respects for the cancer survivors that have gone through this already...I had no idea. But oh! I am truly learning endurance.
When you pray for me, please pray that my bone marrow biopsy comes back negative for cancer cells, and that all my testing comes back good, that I am healthy and strong enough to begin chemo.
Thanks for all your support, kind words and encouragement. Fight this with me.
Shannon
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
God Will Bless This Broken Road
For my friends and family who don't know, I would like to tell you about a big thing that has happened in my life and through this blog, share with you this new road I must follow. Recently I have been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma which is curable but will require tough treatment and time for healing. I am in high spirits that I will make it through this and be okay. Once this is all over, I will look back and be able to see the hand of God through it all. But, as of now, I am at the beginning of this broken road and I take strength knowing that I will not have to do this alone.
How it all started...
Seven to Eight months ago after doing some vigorous yard work in the heat, I noticed i had a squishy bump on my neck the next day when i woke up. Thinking I had a allergic reaction to pollen or something in the yard i waited for it to recede and thought i would be okay. The bump did seem to go down and so I marked it off to being just what I thought it was and went on with life. I started getting a cold and the bump came back again...again I though, "This is how my body is dealing with being sick" but I decided to go to Urgent Care anyway after the cold went away. The doctor gave me some antibiotics in hopes it was a bacterial infection, which I took, but the bump did not go away. She told me to give it two to three weeks for results and I thought, that must be what was wrong since the bump went down to almost nothing in that time. Life was busy, work was busy and I tried to get used to the squishy bump on my neck that swelled up and then receded. I finally did have enough of it and decided to finally get a doctor and have them take a look at it. Luckily for me, my new doctor immediately ordered a CT scan of the bump and that is what started it all. The doctor calls me right after the scan results came to them telling me that they were referring me to an Oncologist immediately because the results of the CT scan came back as "suspiciously like lymphoma". I went to the bathroom at work and cried. I wait two weeks till my next doctors visit which feels like eternity. I am stressed, emotional and anxious. I am hoping they are wrong, that this is just allergies. Finally I get to the Oncologist and I can barely sit down in the office. I pace, drink up all their water and fidget when I finally sit down. They make it even worse when they put a medical bracelet around my wrist and make me fill out paperwork. Finally I get called in and the nurse takes my temperature, which is high, my blood pressure, which is high, and asks me weird questions about symptoms I think in my mind I might have but am so stressed I don't know. The poor nurse looked at me knowing i am about to lose it and i did. To make me feel better, she gives me some graham crackers because stupid me, I decided to fast that day and was light headed. I calm down enough for the Oncologist to come in to a sane person and find him a happy jovial Asian man with a thick accent. I am set at ease more but then I brace myself for the news I don't want to hear, but hear it I do. " You have Lymphoma".
Testing...
After my initial visit I am bounced around to another doctor who will perform a biopsy on my squishy bump. Here I am met with a Six foot Five skinny man with a lab coat. He proceeds to tell me that in order to diagnose me further and start treatment, they need to know what type of Lymphoma I have. The biopsy is scheduled for two days out and I get bounced down to the Lab where they take six vials of my blood for more testings!!!! I have had it already and I have barely even begun! The biopsy was performed and they sliced open my neck and extracted a sizable tissue chunk for testing. Poor me, I couldn't move my head any direction for a few days...forget showering. After four days of recuperating, I go in for another CT scan of the rest of my body. I had to fast and drink nasty orange flavored fluid so i can become glow in the dark. The results of the scan are sent to my Oncologist and the waiting game begins again. In the mean time, the Oncologist sets me up for another biopsy, this one for my bone marrow for further testing. This is what i conquered today...
Testing results...
Today at my bone marrow biopsy my Oncologist informed me that results from the tissue biopsy and CT scan came back. I have Hodgkins Lymphoma, but Praise God, the CT scan showed none of it in any other parts of my body. In Fourteen days, I find out the results from my bone marrow biopsy and with a flurry of other testing in the mean time, I will meet with them to start talking about my treatment plan.
So I ask of you my family and friends. Pray for me, I have a difficult road ahead to walk and will need as many hands holding mine as i can get. Thank you for all your support. I will fight this, fight with me.
How it all started...
Seven to Eight months ago after doing some vigorous yard work in the heat, I noticed i had a squishy bump on my neck the next day when i woke up. Thinking I had a allergic reaction to pollen or something in the yard i waited for it to recede and thought i would be okay. The bump did seem to go down and so I marked it off to being just what I thought it was and went on with life. I started getting a cold and the bump came back again...again I though, "This is how my body is dealing with being sick" but I decided to go to Urgent Care anyway after the cold went away. The doctor gave me some antibiotics in hopes it was a bacterial infection, which I took, but the bump did not go away. She told me to give it two to three weeks for results and I thought, that must be what was wrong since the bump went down to almost nothing in that time. Life was busy, work was busy and I tried to get used to the squishy bump on my neck that swelled up and then receded. I finally did have enough of it and decided to finally get a doctor and have them take a look at it. Luckily for me, my new doctor immediately ordered a CT scan of the bump and that is what started it all. The doctor calls me right after the scan results came to them telling me that they were referring me to an Oncologist immediately because the results of the CT scan came back as "suspiciously like lymphoma". I went to the bathroom at work and cried. I wait two weeks till my next doctors visit which feels like eternity. I am stressed, emotional and anxious. I am hoping they are wrong, that this is just allergies. Finally I get to the Oncologist and I can barely sit down in the office. I pace, drink up all their water and fidget when I finally sit down. They make it even worse when they put a medical bracelet around my wrist and make me fill out paperwork. Finally I get called in and the nurse takes my temperature, which is high, my blood pressure, which is high, and asks me weird questions about symptoms I think in my mind I might have but am so stressed I don't know. The poor nurse looked at me knowing i am about to lose it and i did. To make me feel better, she gives me some graham crackers because stupid me, I decided to fast that day and was light headed. I calm down enough for the Oncologist to come in to a sane person and find him a happy jovial Asian man with a thick accent. I am set at ease more but then I brace myself for the news I don't want to hear, but hear it I do. " You have Lymphoma".
Testing...
After my initial visit I am bounced around to another doctor who will perform a biopsy on my squishy bump. Here I am met with a Six foot Five skinny man with a lab coat. He proceeds to tell me that in order to diagnose me further and start treatment, they need to know what type of Lymphoma I have. The biopsy is scheduled for two days out and I get bounced down to the Lab where they take six vials of my blood for more testings!!!! I have had it already and I have barely even begun! The biopsy was performed and they sliced open my neck and extracted a sizable tissue chunk for testing. Poor me, I couldn't move my head any direction for a few days...forget showering. After four days of recuperating, I go in for another CT scan of the rest of my body. I had to fast and drink nasty orange flavored fluid so i can become glow in the dark. The results of the scan are sent to my Oncologist and the waiting game begins again. In the mean time, the Oncologist sets me up for another biopsy, this one for my bone marrow for further testing. This is what i conquered today...
Testing results...
Today at my bone marrow biopsy my Oncologist informed me that results from the tissue biopsy and CT scan came back. I have Hodgkins Lymphoma, but Praise God, the CT scan showed none of it in any other parts of my body. In Fourteen days, I find out the results from my bone marrow biopsy and with a flurry of other testing in the mean time, I will meet with them to start talking about my treatment plan.
So I ask of you my family and friends. Pray for me, I have a difficult road ahead to walk and will need as many hands holding mine as i can get. Thank you for all your support. I will fight this, fight with me.
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