Thankful

Every week I get statements in the mail from my insurance showing what was billed and how much they covered. A few days ago I opened up a statement and was blown away how much my treatments and blood work labs cost for the month of April. I began to think of how much my insurance has covered so far for all that I have gone through... The scans, tests, surgery, blood work, exams and medicine and I felt so humble and thankful and broke down. Two years ago I didn't have health insurance because I thought I didn't need it and it was so expensive. For some reason jaime and I felt the need to get me on health insurance and looking back now what a world of hurt we would be in financially if I had not made the decision. I know God was getting me ready to go through what I am going through now. Not only that but two years ago I made up my mind to get healthy and lost 50 pounds and was trying to eat healthy and excecise. Again, God was getting me prepared to be strong enough to go through this. This month of June marks one year from the first time I found the bump on my neck not knowing what I know now that I had cancer. It took me 6 months before I got it looked at by a legitiment doctor (I did go to the doc in the box but obviously they didn't diagnose me correctly) and I am thankful that that lenghth of time was not too long to get me treated. Looking back on all of this shows me that God had me in his hand the whole time and so in the midst of what I am going through should tell me that I am in his hands even now and should trust him with my healing. I worry sometimes that the treatments wont get all the cancer and that I will have to go through more and more treatments. But that is stupid worring because God has already proved to me that he has everything under control. He promised me that I will be okay and I dont know why I think about that. But then again the enemy would love to get me to feel fear and have doubt...but Iam not ignorant to his tricks. So I choose to see all of blessings in my life, I will choose to have a right attitude about everything and not complain. I choose to live my life with the expectancy that I will have full and complete restoration in my life. I choose to not get bitter, I choose to love to care and to serve God despite the hand I have been delt. So I will continue to walk this road broken or not. Shannon